Tuesday, September 9, 2014

September discussion: Poly and personal challenges

While polyamory can be a big factor in our relationships and our lives, many if not most of us also face other kinds of personal challenges in the form of chronic illness, disability, or have partners and family members dealing with these. What is the impact of our personal challenges on our poly relationships, is it even possible to practice poly with such challenges, and if so, what's to consider? Can poly help in coping with our challenges, and in what ways? See you this month for a discussion about a perhaps difficult but very important topic, both for those of us who face personal challenges and those of us who wish to provide support to our partners and friends.

Place: Camas Books on Quadra,  Victoria, BC, Canada
Time: 7 pm to 9 pm
Date: September 25, 2014
Cost: free, but donations to Camas are appreciated
Newcomers welcome!

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

August Poly 101 discussion: keeping that special feeling

This month's discussion will include the topic of how to help your partner feel special when you start dating someone new. Poly 101 discussions take place the 4th Thursday of every month at Camas Books on Quadra Street, Victoria, BC, Canada. Cost is free, but donations to Camas for the use of their space is appreciated. This month's facilitator is Cora, who will also be talking about the More Than Two upcoming book tour! Newcomers welcome!

Time: 7 pm to 9 pm

Friday, July 25, 2014

The new poly book in town

It's finally out! I got my advance copy last night, and I literally can't put it down. If you want down-to-earth practical advice on polyamory, this is the book for you. Forward by Janet Hardy of Ethical Slut fame, and written lucidly and compassionately by Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux, this is the manual you need for all your poly questions, 101 groups and to give to your parents when you decide to come out. Get online and get your copy today!

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

July Poly 101 discussion: Open question night

July 24, 2014 will be open question night at Victoria Poly 101. Got things you've been wondering about polyamory? Ever wondered how others deal with jealousy? Want to know how to plan an event with more than one of your partners attending? Curious how people decide who gets to sleep where, and when? \

See you at Camas Books, Quadra Street (across from Fairway foods) at 7 pm to 9 pm on Thursday, July 24. Attendance is free, but donations to Camas are appreciated for the use of their space. See you there!

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

June 26th Poly 101: Poly compatibility and the communication we need to get there

Last month, we had a discussion about how to talk about poly to family, co-workers and friends. During that talk, we touched on more general ideas of communication and it gave me the idea to dedicate this month's 101 to a more in-depth discussion about the communication skills needed to negotiate a good poly relationship. Sounds easy, right? Just be honest! Well...

When you think about it, there are quite a lot of differing views about what polyamory is, exactly, that are floating around out there. We've talked about different kinds of open relationships in other 101s, and so what I'd like to do this month is discuss how to communicate with someone who is poly, but maybe their poly isn't exactly the same as your poly. In an open relationship culture where things work best when we figure out our own boundaries and rules, being able to talk about all this stuff is key.

Come prepared to think about what poly means to you, and how you can best communicate that to others. Also come prepared to hear and appreciate the differences in how we enjoy having relationships.

Place: Camas Books on Quadra, Victoria, BC, Canada
Time: 7 pm to 9 pm
Cost: a donation to Camas is appreciated but not required

Monday, May 5, 2014

May 101 discussion: "You've got some explaining to do!"

Have you ever felt uncomfortable, confused or choked up when trying to explain polyamory to someone for the first time? Whether that person is a potential lover, a family member, a friend or someone at work, poly people do often find themselves in situations where we need to explain what, exactly, poly is in the context of our lives. This isn't always easy, but getting ideas from others who have been there can help. Come talk about challenges, strategies and other fun aspects of explaining poly to people!

Place: Camas Books, Quadra Street across from Fairway (near King Street) in Victoria, BC, Canada
Time: 7 pm to 9 pm
Cost: free! (But please donate to Camas for use of their space if you can afford to do so)
Rules: Be respectful of the views and privacy of others, listen and as well as speak and ask questions if you're not sure about anything. Newcomers are welcome and encouraged to attend, as long as they join in the spirit of the discussion with an open mind. This is a safe space for all ages, and the event is not intended as a social or dating mixer.

Monday, March 31, 2014

April monthly discussion: age and poly, the joys and challenges of multi-generations in the poly world

Polyamory has been a relationship choice for a long time, but it's only been recognized as a social movement in North America since the 1970s, and that was only in smaller pockets of communities, connected by like-minded individuals. Since the 1980s and the internet, however, polyamorous people have been connecting and... forming larger communities to the point where we're now in a third generation of poly people -- in their late teens and early '20s -- forming the largest-growing poly group yet.

While this is great news overall for those who want to see polyamory grow and blossom in our culture, it also poses new questions and challenges to those of us living in increasingly large poly communities. Questions like: "Who should I date?" and "Should our poly group host age-segregated events?" come up more and more frequently, while basic philosophies and even the language of polyamory (and its companion communities, such as the queer and lifestyle communities, to name only two) are evolving as younger people's views and different cultural issues make themselves felt in our lives.

This month we'll be discussing how age affects polyamory -- both for yourself, personally, and for the poly community as a whole. What aspects of the past are important to keep in mind, which are changing, and what's in store for the future of open, loving relationships? Most of all, how can poly people of all ages support each other in the years to come, particularly in preparing for "Polyamory, the Next and Future Generations?"

Kiki will be facilitating the April discussion.

Below are two articles on age and poly that you might find interesting background reading:


The discussion will take place at Camas Books, 2620 Quadra, Victoria, BC, Canada
Time: 7 pm to 9 pm
Cost: free, but donations to Camas are welcome
Please arrive on time for the discussion.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

February Victoria Poly 101 discussion: poly, swinging and more

This month's discussion will look at polyamory, swinging or lifestyle and other types of  "open" relationships to see how they vary or where there's crossover. As always, the discussion starts at 7 pm at Camas books on Quadra Street (across from Fairway market) in Victoria, BC, Canada (heads up for our Victorian friends in Australia who keep writing to me -- we really would love to have you attend someday)! ;)\

February 27th is the date; the discussion is from 7 pm to 9 pm, and often there is a bit of social time organized afterwards at the neighbouring swimming pool and/or the pub. No cost for the discussion, though a donation to Camas for the use of their space is greatly appreciated.

You don't have to be polyamorous to attend, only open-minded and interested in learning about open relationships. Please note that this is not a dating group, though there are other poly social groups and events in Victoria if you're interested in that. You can ask one of the organizers at the discussion if you think you might like to take part in poly social events.

Hope to see you there!

And just so you know who we are, here's a photo of your two fearless VP101 facilitators speaking on a UVic panel with a friend..

Victoria Poly 101 facilitators, 2014 - Brad (left) and Kiki (centre) speaking alongside Liam (Captain) Snowdon at a poly discussion panel at the University of Victoria.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

A new poly workshop for couples coming this February to Victoria!

An intensive weekend workshop consisting of couple counselling, coaching and group discussion activities will take place this February in Victoria, BC. Any couples interested in opening up their relationships for the first time are encouraged to register!

January Poly 101 discussion: workshop on attachment styles in poly

This month's Victoria Poly 101 discussion is a workshop. Special guest speaker: Dr. Nichole Fairbrother with assistance from Cora Bilsker. Offering a workshop/presentation on polyamory and attachment styles.

Date: Thursday, January 23
Place: Camas Books, Victoria, BC, Canada
Time: 7 pm - 9 pm

Cost: free, but donations to Camas for their generous use of the space is greatly appreciated

Please arrive on time for this workshop!