Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Victoria Poly Holiday Party!

December 23rd is the Victoria Poly Holiday party at the Ledge Lounge (above the Bedford Hotel in downtown Victoria). Admission is $2 for a ticket; there will be a cash bar and full menu at The Ledge for the party (it's a private party, so please let us know if you want to come by emailing

Party starts at 5 pm (to 9:30 pm)! Your ticket enters you in a draw for a cool poly book!

Monday, November 5, 2012

November Poly 101 discussion

Let's make a poly time capsule!

This month, the last Poly 101 before our holiday break (stay tuned for announcement of the December Poly party!) I wanted to tap into our collective creative energies to produce a fun and informative body of Victoria poly wisdom. :)

At Poly 101, we get asked a lot of questions about poly resources or literature, and although there is a small lexicon of poly books, blogs and materials out there, many poly resources are, I find, found within the community its

Therefore, I propose we put together a Victoria Poly 101 collection of writing, art or other materials that in some way reflects our own personal poly wisdom (even if it's just questions at this point). In other words, I ask you to bring something that you think would be useful or fun to share with the whole community that you wrote, created or otherwise compiled.

If you don't write or craft anything, that's okay too! You can certainly come to listen and share your thoughts, or perhaps bring an excerpt of some poly writing you found online or in a book that really moves you, and read it aloud to the group.

I will bring a box and collect our collective wisdom so that we have something to add to and bring to discussions to share into the future.

Sound fun? I hope so!

Date: Thursday, Nov. 22, 2012 (4th Thursday of every month!)
Time: 6:30 pm to 9:00 pm
Place: Camas Books, 2590 Quadra St., Victoria, BC

Friday, October 5, 2012

October 101 discussion

We will be discussing Metamour relationships at our next monthly Poly 101 at Camas Books!

Time: 6:30 pm to 9:30 pm
Place: Camas Books, Victoria, British Columbia

Having more than one partner can be pretty great, but how do you relate to your partner's other partner? What if you don't like them? What if your partner doesn't like YOUR other partner? Do you all have to spend time together? 

We will discuss one of the most important poly relationships there is: metamour (from "meta" + "amour") relationships. No matter how much poly is like any other kind of relationship, it's the fact that we relate to our partner's other partners that makes poly unique, and potentially rewarding.

**Please note that Camas has moved down the block to their new location at 2620 Quadra Street.
It's free to attend a Poly 101 discussion, but please consider bringing a donation to Camas for the generous use of the space.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

September Poly 101 discussion!

Building a poly household or intentional community. 

This month's topic centres around the logistics, emotions and communication needed to create a poly home with more than one partner (not to mention kids, pets and overnight guests)! 

As always, anyone is free to attend the discussion as long as you're respectful and speak and listen with an open mind. Camas provides the meeting space free of charge, but those of us who attend regularly like to show our appreciation for this by donating a few dollars to Camas. You may bring snacks to the meeting if you like.

Where:  Camas Books and Infoshop, corner of King and Quadra St., Victoria, BC

When: 6:30 pm to 9:30 pm, Thursday, September 27th, 2012

*VP101 discussions are the 4th Thursday of every month unless otherwise posted!  

Friday, August 31, 2012

Replace your jealousy with comperson..

This bit about how to learn to replace jealousy with comperson from an article by Deborah Anapol in Psychology Today really seemed worth posting on here:

"However, since most of us have been raised with an expectation of jealousy, compersion is often an alien concept. Learning theory tells us that it's always easier to replace one habit with another than to just eliminate the first one. If you can't imagine feeling compersion instead of jealousy, you can try the following experiment the next time you feel jealous. Instead of focusing on your own discomfort and fears, try putting your attention on your partner. Think of the happiness, turn on and pleasure your partner may be experiencing and how your partner's good feelings will eventually be passed on to you.

Just having a concept that acknowledges that you have an alternative to feeling jealous can go a long way toward transforming jealousy."

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

August 2012 discussion

Long Distance Relationships, or LDRs, as they're often called, can be a big component of polyamorous dating.  Many of us started out in poly by having LDRs and many of us have maintained long-term LDRs over the years.  This month's topic will deal with our experiences and questions about Long Distance polyamorous relationships.

Come join us at Victoria Poly 101 for our monthly discussion at Camas Bookshop, Corner of King and Quadra streets, Victoria, BC.

Date: August 23rd, 2012
6:30 pm to 9:30 pm
Participants are asked to bring a donation for use of the space at Camas.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

June 28, 2012, Victoria Poly 101 monthly discussion

Boundaries, rules, guidelines and wishes -- poly parameters parsed! 

Do you want a closed relationship? One that's completely open -- but only on Thursdays and Saturday nights? Do you want the same number of partners your partner has, exclusive rights to the bed but not the bathtub, a pony, and all the cake you can eat? 

Do you have some mad poly negotiating skillz, tips, tricks, and rules that you've found really work well to help all of you feel loved, secure and well-fed?

Come talk about poly rule-making, breaking and awesome negotiating on June 28th! 

Please bring a small donation if you can in gratitude for the use of the space at Camas. :)

* A note to newcomers:  you are not expected to participate in discussions, but you are expected to listen respectfully with an open mind. Victoria Poly 101 discussions are not dating events. If you're interested in poly dating events, please check with Kiki, the moderator, who can put you in touch with some of the poly dating venues in Victoria.

Time:  6:30 pm to 9:30 pm
Cost:  Free!  (But please consider donating to Camas for use of the space)
Place: Camas Books: Corner of King and Quadra Streets, Victoria, BC

Saturday, May 19, 2012

May 24 poly 101 discussion

Poly 101 discussion will take place at 6:30 pm on May 24, at The Ledge Lounge, above the Bedford Hotel on Government Street (across from Bay Centre).

Our topic is general this month; so feel free to bring questions and ideas about polyamory; newbies welcome!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

April 26 Poly 101 at Camas

The 4th Thursday of the month is approaching, and this month we have two things to celebrate:

We will be holding our discussion at Camas infoshop, at the corner of King and Quadra streets, at 6:30 pm.  Those of you who have been attending Victoria Poly 101 discussions for a couple of years will remember that Camas was our first home, and we are excited to be returning there for this meeting, and probably subsequent meetings (we will also continue to have more informal, pub evenings at The Ledge, so be sure and check for location announcements).

This month, we have a special guest speaker from Island Sexual Health coming to talk about their services, specifically in the context of polyamorous clients.  We will have the chance to provide input and ask questions; in addition, our topic this month is Poly and Sex -- yay!

Hope to see you there -- please arrive promptly at 6:30, if you can, and if you're able, bring a donation for Camas, for hosting us.  You may also bring snacks and beverages (non-alcoholic).

Monday, March 19, 2012

Subject: CPAA Notice of AGM and Call for Directors: Sunday March 25 9pm EST

Attention Canadian Polyamorous Community Members:

You are cordially invited to attend the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association’s Annual General Meeting.  

Date/time of meeting: Sunday March 25th at 9pm Eastern Standard Time (6pm Pacific Standard Time)
Place: A national telephone conference call.

RSVP: To attend the meeting, please RSVP to so that we can ensure we have enough capacity on the call and can provide you with information as to how to call in. 

This is also a call for Directors: For this meeting, we are inviting our supporters to become involved in the CPAA by becoming a Director.  If you are interested, please email  If you wish to discuss this with a current director, please leave a phone number and someone will return your call.  

Proposed agenda
1. Call to order (roll call)
2. Establish meeting process (facilitator(s), recorder)
3. Adoption of the agenda
4. Approval of last general meeting minutes ( February 27, 2011)
5. Receive directors’ report
6. Receive financial statements
7. Election of directors (coordinator, co-coordinator, secretary, treasurer (or secretary/treasurer) and other directors) 
8. Appreciation of outgoing Directors
9.  Special or other business:
a. Future role of CPAA
b. Proposed bylaw changes
c. New members
10. Adjournment

Monday, March 5, 2012

Victoria Poly 101 monthly discussion: How do you keep that special feeling in polyamory?

How do you deal with jealousy, and making sure your partner feels special and cared-for when you're polyamorous? Come discuss this topic, and bring other questions about polyamory on March 22nd. 

This discussion is moderated and is not a dating event, although you're welcome to stay and socialize afterwards if you like. 

Place:  The Ledge Lounge, 1140 Government Street, Victoria, BC
Time:  6:30 pm to 9:30 pm

Monday, February 13, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day, Poly 101!

As poly people, we know better than anyone that there are as many ways to love as there are people to love, and that's reason enough for me to celebrate.

Happy Valentine's Day, to a group of open-hearted people who continue to teach me the most amazing things about love. :)

Sunday, February 12, 2012

February Poly 101 discussion

Feb. 23rd, 6:30 pm at The Ledge Lounge (1140 Government Street, Victoria)

How do you talk to others about polyamory? How do you introduce polyamory to a new partner/lover? When do you introduce polyamory? How do you figure out if your polyamory and someone else's polyamory are the same thing? How do you introduce poly to yourself? 

Cora will be facilitating this discussion as Kiki has other engagements. See you there!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

January Poly 101 discussion

Time:  6:30 pm to 9 pm
Place:  The Ledge Lounge (Government Street, Victoria, BC -- above the Bedford Hotel, across from The Bay Centre)
Topic:  Poly activism

Come have a bite to eat, some poly conversation and please feel free to bring general poly questions as well!