Friday, November 5, 2010

Loving More workshop: Poly Dating 101

I was really looking forward to attending Poly Dating 101, offered by Cunning Minx (the host of Polyamory Weekly).  Being the tech-savvy lady that she is (ok, she's a self-proclaimed geek), Minx has provided us with her superb slideshow on the blog, here.  This makes my job a lot easier, as I can just highlight what I enjoyed most about the workshop.

The basic premise of the workshop was creating strategies to figure out our own dating needs and how to present them to potential partners.  This twofold goal of "know thyself" and "communicate effectively" was niftily packaged in what Minx calls her "User's Manual", which is exactly what it sounds like.  She encouraged us to write our own manuals, both for the purpose of self-exploration and to give to other people so they know what makes us tick.

Starting with basics such as family history, values and even (or maybe especially!) personal baggage, our user manual should also include sexual preferences and relationship goals.  "You don't want to lose a relationship because you don't know what you want," says Minx, because "only you know what will make you happy."

My favourite part of the workshop, however, was our lively discussion of how to enter into an existing relationship as a "secondary" partner.  Her assertion that we are all "second to none" when it comes to relationships made me sit a little higher in my chair, since I am currently in several relationships with people who already have primary partners.

I really loved the intelligent interactiveness of this workshop; many of the participants brought their own insights and wisdom to the collective poly table, and I left feeling lucky that I have chosen to conduct my relationships within a community that understands and honours individual feelings and each unique connection.

I want to thank Cunning Minx for her hard work in bringing information, laughter and a whole lot of sexiness to what could be seen as a daunting process -- dating polyamorously.

Cunning Minx autographs my User's Manual at the Poly Living Conference..


  1. Thanks for the knockout review! You are a rock star. So... can I come to Victoria and have YOU sign MY boobs? :-)

  2. Sure! What colour Sharpie would you like? ;)

  3. Hold on, let me bring my camera

  4. Oh, so sorry I missed it - the workshop and the boob signing! I have yet to come up to Victoria to meet THE KIKI, so Minx, I think this calls for a ROAD TRIP!!

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