Polyamory and Social Change: a speech for Vancouver's Anti-homophobia breakfast

This morning I gave a short speech for the 7th Annual Anti-homophobia breakfast, sponsored by Vancouver's Qmunity (queer support organization).  It was a tremendous boost to be included among the shining starts of Vancouver's queer activists and support network, and I thought I'd repost my speech here for those who were not able to attend.  I was proud to represent the polyamorous community at this fantastic event.



Polyamory and Social Change

Introduction

Intimate relationships are the foundation of family, community and of society as a whole.  When we deconstruct pre-programmed ideas of how we relate to each other on an intimate level, eventually we change the way we feel and act towards everyone we relate to.

Polyamory -- the practice of openly and honestly loving more than one person -- poses challenges for personal growth and communication that can also create an ideal background for challenging traditional relationship structures and set the stage for sex positive culture and social change.

Those who choose polyamory as a relationship style are not the only people who experience discontinuity, cultural bias or prejudice within our larger environment of heteronormative cultural assumptions.  For example:

It took me only moments of online research to come up with this response to Facebook's relationship status choices and its inherent biases towards couple-centric values.  This is from Onely.org (a blog about celebrating and advocating the choice of being single):

By forcing users to choose one “relationship” from a narrow range of options centering around marital status and sexual habits, Facebook perpetuates our society’s entrenched mate-mania, which over-worships the sexual-couple-unit, and marriage in particular. This bias devalues other important relationships. It devalues platonic friends and non-spousal family members. And it devalues people for whom conventional coupling/marriage is either not appealing or not an option. . .

**************
Also from the Onely blog was a good definition of "heteronormative", and it's the one I will also be using today:

We use "heteronormative" to mean the hegemonic perspective that normalizes coupled relationships. "Heteronormative" historically refers to a perspective that fails to recognize “alternative” gender and sexual identities.

***************

To come back to polyamory:

As open relationships become increasingly public and politicized, we are in need of a new cultural relationship model that is distinct from monogamy but that still demonstrates the values of love, commitment and security that are important to all human beings.  Through practicing polyamory while being conscious of how we speak about and act towards everyone we relate to, it is possible to bring this model into public awareness in a way that both celebrates the unique aspects of poly while demonstrating skills that are of value to everyone.

Here are some basic aspects of polyamory which reflect and encourage social change:

- equality in relationship roles (here is where it's important to distinguish between polyamory as a choice rather than patriarchial or religious multi-partner structures, such as the polygamy practiced in Bountiful, BC).

- allowing those we love to fulfil their potential without the contraints of social expectation created by romantic or couple-centric assumptions

- embracing the fluidity of uncertainty and change within relationships, which encourages personal courage and awareness as well as good communication skills

- allowing individuals the creative ability to choose the relationship structures that work best for them

- creating new concepts and language to describe our relationships

- raising the importance of friendship to a level equal to that of "partners", creating new opportunities for social interaction and increasing value of individual qualities often overlooked in our culture (ie. loyalty, respect, honesty, simple warmth, to name a few )


Here are some ways in which we can consciously use our practice of polyamory to effect social change:

First level:  Individual Action

- exploring our own feelings and realizing where our boundaries are in relation to other people's  -- in other words, know the difference between your stuff and someone else's

- cultivate respect for yourself and those you relate to

- read and learn as much as possible about polyamory (online, books, media... )

- demonstrate your values through your careful choice of language

Second Level:  Group Action

- organize and attend group events that are either poly focused or poly-inclusive

- bring family members and friends into contact with your poly relationships and ideas so they can become comfortable with them

- seek support groups can help with the process of "coming out" if that is a difficulty

**This is where queer community organizations can help polyamorous groups by sharing their experience of alternative parenting, community building, legal battles and personal experiences such as "coming out" stories.

The model of heterosexual couples who want to swing with another couple, or to find one bisexual person to play with, is certainly an option in the poly model, but they are by no means the only or the most common options.

Queer community is coming to recognize that poly groups are becoming another haven for people who identify as bisexual, pansexual, transgendered and exploratory in terms of gender and sexual orientation.

Just as many queers embrace polyamory as heterosexuals, and there are single people who choose to date, when they do, in an open relationship structure.  Poly structures can truly span gender and sexual orientation labels and include a diverse community who are united in their desire to step outside of the heteronormative box of cultural assumptions and bias.

Third Level:  Global Action

- plan and host poly conferences and events

- talk to the media about polyamory

- create your own poly media (films, books, blogs, newsgroups... )

- bring poly into the political arena

- lobby for legal change in the areas of child custody, financial rights of multiple partners, contract law as pertaining to marriage and partnerships AND the decriminalization of multi-partner marital status (which is the goal of the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association)

Conclusion:

There is an obvious connection between individual growth and social change.  Polyamory provides a rich opportunity for both, as it presents both a personal challenge and a public one.  It reaches people on many levels:  emotional, spiritual, ethical, legal, political, economic...  and in this way, it becomes a paradigm for how we can consciously change the way we think and act socially that starts on the smallest scale -- within ourselves -- and blossoms outwards to touch others through the simplest of connection:  those of love and mutual respect.

Thank you.

Closing arguments posted in Canadian litigation March 2011

Greetings to all

Written closing arguments have been filed. 
Oral closing arguments are expected to be heard between March 28 and April 8 (10 days).
The CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) has obtained the right (a first in BC) to video tape court proceedings and will do a webcast (video and sound) of the closing arguments.  

The closing arguments, as well as all other documents are here.  
https://docs.google.com/?tab=mo&authuser=0#folders/folder.0.0B-URIT52yhx4MDVkMDU5MDctZDM0Zi00ODQ4LWJkNWEtMWVjNmRjMGE2ZjQ0

Our closing argument was designed to piggy back on the closing argument of the Amicus, who did a great job focusing on the law generally. He also has a significant section in his brief on international law, including US. The CPAA closing is focused on the facts surrounding polyamory.  John Ince intends to read the affidavits of our poly families into the record as part of the closing, as we did not present any oral evidence.  

You will see from the closing arguments of the Attorneys General of Canada/BC, that they try to minimize the meaning of the literal words of the criminal law, the extent of polyamory, and the impact of the criminal law section on polyamorists so as to convince the court that the Canadian law should be upheld. 

Regards,
Carole Chanteuse 

CPAA's letter to Loving More: an update on the polygamy law case in BC

Dear Loving More organization.

I am writing to update you on the progress of the Canadian
litigation. We would also like to express our support and gratitude
for the support of the Loving More organization and of the Polyamory
Leadership Network both at the conference in Seattle (where we made a
presentation on the litigation) and since then. We have had donations
since then of approximately $3000 toward the cost of the litigation
and when combined with the volunteer efforts and donations of our
volunteers, that money provides us with the ability to cover initial
costs and cover some of the costs of the likely, upcoming appeals

You will recall that the litigation is about s.293 Criminal Code of
Canada, a law which criminalizes polygamy but also makes it a criminal
offence to enter into any kind of conjugal union with more than one
person at the same time,whether or not it is by law recognized as a
binding form of marriage. It is also criminal to celebrate such a
relationship and it is not necessary to prove that sex is or was
intended to be a part of it. Although rarely prosecuted, the Attorney
General (AG) of the province of British Columbia, wished to use the
section to prosecute an insular, highly fundamentalist Mormon sect
(Bountiful) which practices patriarchal polygyny and against whom
there were concerns alleged about abusive behaviours, marriage to
underage girls, etc. The AG was given advice by prosecutors that the
law was unconstitutional and, under political pressure to address the
issues alleged at Bountiful, decided to ask the court a constitutional
reference question (essentially, for a judicial and highly persuasive
legal opinion) as to the constitutionality of the law. That question
is what this court case is about.

The parties to the litigation are the Attorneys General of Canada and
British Columbia (for s.293) and the Amicus (friend of the court,
appointed to argue against s.293). The court allowed Interested
Parties to come forward and 12 organizations originally did so,
including one of the Bountiful communities and various children and
women's rights organizations and civil liberties groups. The Canadian
Polyamory Advocacy Association (CPAA) was formed to become an
Interested Party and present a polyamorous point of view to the
court.

By November all the evidence was filed with the court. Five families
from across Canada have provided to the court affidavit telling about
their family situations for which they feared they would be viewed as
criminal given the wording of s. 293. The CPAA has also filed the
results of a survey, a 500 page Brandeis Brief of research and reports
respecting polyamory, and four books supportive of polyamory all of
which are intended to show the court that polyamory is not a "fringe"
movement and that is has something of value to offer to people and
society such that it should clearly not be criminalized in any way.

In November all the opening arguments were filed and on November 22
opening arguments were begun. The AG for Canada argued that the law is
legal and could be read to require that it only become illegal to live
together as a married couple if one had a ceremony to celebrate it.
The AG for BC argued the law was legal, but if it was not, then since
the governments could only show that there were harms to patriarchal
polygyny and could not show that there were harms to polyandry, then
it was legal only if someone lived in a configuration with one man and
more than one woman. Legal counsel for the CPAA, John Ince, presented
a brilliant opening argument pointing out the challenges of both of
these positions and suggesting that the AGs might have "lost their
moral compass" in trying to argue for the constitutionality of the
section on these grounds. The BC Civil Liberties Association
arguments aligned with those of the CPAA. Other organizations argued
for reading down the law to make it constitutional or to read in
elements of abuse, disparity of power, etc.

There has been no evidence presented which indicates there are harms
to polyamory and no one has asked to cross-examine the CPAA witnesses,
so CPAA has chosen to call no witnesses or present further evidence in
court. The CPAA position is that if no harms have been shown, then
the law should be ruled as unconstitutional vis a vis polyamorous
families.

Media attention has been wide, nationally and internationally. The
CPAA has declined requests during this busy trial preparation period
to be part of a documentary and has referred requests to the Loving
More organization, which has assisted documentarians and other media
people with finding polyamorous families and people who are willing to
be interviewed. Media media attention has recently been on
patriarchal polygyny and Bountiful since the parties and many of the
witnesses, both for and against s.293, are focused on arguing about
the harms of patriarchal polygny. Some women who are members of these
communities have been able to testify anonymously to protect them from
criminal prosecution and so the court could hear their testimony.
There are also social science witnesses who have testified about the
harms of patriarchal polgyny and how they view it possible that even
in a culture such as that of Canada, we will--if polygamy is
legalized--tend toward patriarchal polygyny resulting in more
unmarried men and increased violence.
The Amicus has been questioning these experts and witnesses.CPAA legal
counsel has been working closely with the Amicus throughout the trial.

The final witnesses will be called in February and there will also
shortly be a hearing on whether the CBC--Canada's national television
station--will be able to record and televise the closing arguments.
Closing arguments will be heard sometime in late March and early
April, 2011.

Those of us volunteering with the CPAA are now promoting the holding
of Polyamory Forums by polyamorists across Canada. Polyamorists in
Victoria, British Columbia, held a forum at the University in late
2010 which received a lot of media attention. We are hoping to host
one in Vancouver shortly after the closing arguments are heard so as
to focus public attention at that time on polyamory. There may also
be one on the East Coast. We also intend to promote the Polyamory
House Party weekend.

CPAA webpage: http://polyadvocacy.ca
A blog of the proceedings: http://dearpollyamorie.blogspot.com/
Court documents and certified transcripts (caution: note that there is
a publication ban on some of the witness' statements):
https://docs.google.com/?tab=mo&authuser=0&pli=1#folders/folder.0.0B-URIT52yhx4MDVkMDU5MDctZDM0Zi00ODQ4LWJkNWEtMWVjNmRjMGE2ZjQ0

It was a pleasure to meet up with you all at the Loving More
Conference and we hope to continue our alliance and friendship in
pursuing our mutual advocacy efforts.

Carole Chanteuse
CPAA

Upcoming fundraising and poly awareness event in Victoria, BC

Poly 101 on Campus is hosting a panel discussion in order to raise community awareness of polyamory and to fundraise for the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association. This event is open to the public and the media. Click here for the Facebook event.

Wednesday, November 17 · 7:00pm - 9:00pm
David Strong Building C103

Ring Rd. UVic

Victoria, BC

Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association at Loving More's Poly Living

The CPAA at Loving More Conference!

Oct 26th, 2010 

We are back home–inspired, very grateful and exhausted!  The CPAA  attended the American Poly Living 2010 conference in Seattle (organized by Loving More, the leading national polyamory organization in the US) .  And not only did we attend lots of great workshops, but Zoe and I (Carole) presented a workshop on our Canadian court case!  (here at http://www.slideshare.net/polychickbc/cpaa-presentation10-23-2010).   

Read more of this blog post on the CPAA's site, here...

Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association news

Poly Love may be Criminalized in Canada. The Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association is asking for both funds and community support to resist this attack on our community.

Please fundraise or donate! Consider holding a poly community pub night or event for the CPAA. We have been operating a very tight, totally volunteer driven campaign on a very limited budget and we’re now starting to have expenses in excess of our $1,100 of seed money. (see below for more info on what we’ve managed to do on those funds! Holy cow!) For continued effective and more fulsome representation on this issue, a donation of any amount would be very helpful. Please send a Paypal payment to donate@polyadvocacy.ca or send email to support@polyadvocacy.ca for instructions on how to send a cheque.

Trial begins November 22! Consider organizing a community event that day or the weekend before to celebrate polyamory and show your support. Send us pictures or a blurb. Talk with your MLA or your MP about polyamory and tell them that loving families should not be criminalized just because they involve more than 2 adults in a marriage-like relationship. Our governments need to know that ordinary Canadians do not want poly to be criminal.



Background: As many of you will recall, the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association (CPAA) was formed by well known people in the polyamory community to advocate for polyamory in the Canadian court case on Canada's criminal law against multiple, conjugal living arrangements and polygamy (s. 293 Criminal Code). The court is going to be giving its opinion on whether the law breaches the Charter of Rights and is unconstitutional.



The CPAA’s view is that the law absolutely affects the fundamental freedoms and rights of polyamorists and should be struck down. Loving, families should not be criminalized just because they involve more than 2 adults in a marriage-like relationship.



While the law has seldom been enforced (and was recently aimed at fundamentalist Mormons in BC), scarily it promises 5 year jail sentences to participants, and those assisting/attending celebrations. Visit the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association facebook page or our website at polyadvocacy.ca for more information.



Litigation activities and updates: A small group of us got together and formed the CPAA. We got:

-donated seed funds of $1100, now spent on activities (see below)

-a volunteer pro bono lawyer (for a limited amount of time)

-obtained "interested person" status in court

-did a survey of the Canadian poly community which we put into court as evidence

--found 5 witness families from across Canada to swear affidavits about their family stories into court (more volunteered too, thank you!)

--made a pre-trial application to ask the governments to clarify whether they believe polyamorous families’ are criminals under the law (application refused BUT the good news is that the application helped us clarify to media and others that polyamory is very different culturally and in practice than in religious, patriarchal polygamy).

-put into court a 500 page brief of expert and social science evidence as well as 4 books



We are now preparing for the court dates beginning November 22. This includes identifying the witnesses we propose to call and to cross-examine and preparing 2 statements of submission.



Government position: The governments of BC and Canada have so far refused to say that polyamorous conjugal households are not criminal under s. 293. Canada has said nothing about its position on the law but is expected to argue that it applies to polyamorous relationships and is constitutional. BC says s. 293 does criminalize polyamorous households. However, if necessary (if the court thinks 293 breaches the Charter of Rights), then BC might take the position that the law should not be applied to polyamorous relationships. That doesn’t make us feel very safe. Even worse, BC has since put forward evidence and made statements at the pre-trial hearing indicating it might argue that polyamory should be included in the criminal law, particularly polyamorous households in which there is one man and more than one woman (polygnous arrangements).



Please feel free to email us if you have any questions or concerns (support@polyadvocacy.ca). We also have forums open on our website

We need your opinion!

Policy consultations: going interactive

The Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association is creating policy statements, and we need to hear from the polyamorous community.

We know Canada’s polyamorists don’t want to be criminalized. We don’t know what else they believe. We need to create a “platform” for the CPAA: positions beyond the Section 293 litigation, as well as positions that my influence how we conduct that case.

We’ve just activated our new forum system. There are forums for several policy concerns. Some of them are subjects we discuss a lot among ourselves. To get everybody else talking, too, we’ve put up some preliminary draft position statements. To keep everybody focused, we’ll open them for discussion one by one.

We’re starting with our “fundamental position”. We believe it should probably be along the lines that monogamy and polyamory should be treated equally. Tell us what you think!

The statements in the forums are very early drafts, not adopted by the CPAA, sometimes controversial among our volunteers, possibly full of mistakes, and definitely subject to change. We’re inviting comment now, early in the process, because we’re committed to hearing from those we represent. To do that, we have to give you raw drafts; if we had polished, finished statements, it would be a show, not a consultation. Please remember that these are not our positions; they’re just suggestions from some of our volunteers.

It’s possible we’ve missed some issues. If so, let us know. The best way to do that is to post in one of the forums we’ve set up for feedback about the CPAA. By the way, we’ve set up forums for feedback about the CPAA.

www.polyadvocacy.ca

Zoe
Director
Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association

Poly Survey for Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association

The Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association (CPAA) is doing a short survey on polyamorous households in Canada where 3 OR MORE ADULTS ARE LIVING OR HAVE LIVED TOGETHER in a form of "conjugal union".

The CPAA intends to use this information to give Canadian courts and governments information about the number and type of polyamorous Canadian households.  For more information on current litigation and the CPAA, please read our website at  http://polyadvocacy.ca.
---------------------------------------
The survey is located at http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/XT8PM82

5 required questions. Approximately 4 minutes.
(Total: 15 questions. Approximately 10 minutes.)
Ending date of survey: May 7, 2010
PLEASE TELL PEOPLE ABOUT THIS SURVEY!! (even if they don't call themselves "polyamorous")

CPAA update: Intervenor status granted!

The Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association (CPAA) is pleased to be able to say that on Tuesday, February 16, 2010, the BC Supreme Court agreed that it would hear the evidence and arguments of the CPAA when the Court considers the reference questions put to it by the BC government about the constitutionality of Canada's "anti-polygamy" law (s. 293, Criminal Code).  This means that the court will hear the CPAA's evidence and arguments about how s. 293 breaches the charter rights of polyamorous Canadians: S 293 says that it is a criminal offence to live in a marriage-like ("conjugal") relationship involving more than 2 people.  

Other groups who were granted the same status as "interested persons" are British Columbia Civil Liberties Association; Beyond Borders: Ensuring Global Justice for Children;  British Columbia Teachers’ Federation; Canadian Association for Free Expression; Canadian Coalition for the Rights of Children, jointly with David Asper Centre for Constitutional Rights; Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association; Catholic Organization for Life and Family, jointly with Knights of Columbus, BC and Yukon Chapter; Christian Legal Fellowship; Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and James Oler in his capacity as Bishop of the FLDS; REAL Women of Canada; Stop Polygamy in Canada; and West Coast Women’s Legal Education & Action Fund.  Mr. Blackmore's application for "party" status will be heard later.   The Government of Canada and of British Columbia are parties to the litigation.

The first round of evidence is due in court in early June, with further evidence due in July and September. 

**  Check out the CPAA's facebook page: www.facebook.com/polyadvocacy

Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association Press Release

For Immediate Release

Polyamorists Announce Court Application

VANCOUVER -- January 28, 2010 -- Members of Canada's polyamory community have applied to become an intervener in the B.C. government's challenge of section 293 of the Criminal Code of Canada -- Canada's anti-polygamy law. The application, filed in BC Supreme Court yesterday, is on behalf of the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association (CPAA).

Polyamory, sometimes referred to as responsible or ethical non-monogamy, is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the consent of everyone involved. Section 293 forbids both polygamy and any kind of conjugal union with more than one person at the same time and as such infringes on people's ability to practice polyamory if the relationships involve cohabitation.

"We believe that people should be free to practice polyamory free of any criminal liability, and that the Charter of Rights gives Canadians such freedom," said CPAA legal counsel, John Ince.

"It is not appropriate for a law which prohibits loving, committed, consensual relationships to remain on the books, even if it not presently being enforced," Ince continued.

Newsweek Magazine recently reported that polyamory is a thriving phenomenon in the United States, with over half a million families openly living in relationships that are between multiple consenting partners.¹ Polyamory is also a thriving phenomenon in Canada.

The CPAA, whose purpose is to promote legal, social, government, and institutional acceptance and support of polyamory in Canada, has called for people who practice a polyamorous lifestyle to step forward as potential witnesses, particularly if they are cohabiting with multiple partners.

"Trudeau once famously said 'there is no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation'. Similarly, we believe that there is no place for the state in the kitchens and the front rooms of the nation," said Zoe Duff, CPAA spokesperson.

"Adult women and men should be able to choose what form of intimate relationship they enter into and with whom they want to share their lives, even if it is more than one person," Duff continued.

Polyamory contrasts with "patriarchal polygamy" practiced in religious communities such as Bountiful, B.C. where men have the right to marry or live with several women, but women have no right to marry or live with several men. Polyamory, on the other hand, is grounded in gender equality, self-determination, and free choice for all involved.

If the issues at communities such as Bountiful are alleged abuse (for example: the abuse of minors, abuse of authority, and marriages that are under age), the abuses should be prosecuted using existing laws that address such abuses.

The CPAA anticipates that his matter may go to the Supreme Court of Canada.