Replace your jealousy with comperson..

This bit about how to learn to replace jealousy with comperson from an article by Deborah Anapol in Psychology Today really seemed worth posting on here:

"However, since most of us have been raised with an expectation of jealousy, compersion is often an alien concept. Learning theory tells us that it's always easier to replace one habit with another than to just eliminate the first one. If you can't imagine feeling compersion instead of jealousy, you can try the following experiment the next time you feel jealous. Instead of focusing on your own discomfort and fears, try putting your attention on your partner. Think of the happiness, turn on and pleasure your partner may be experiencing and how your partner's good feelings will eventually be passed on to you.

Just having a concept that acknowledges that you have an alternative to feeling jealous can go a long way toward transforming jealousy."

August 2012 discussion

Long Distance Relationships, or LDRs, as they're often called, can be a big component of polyamorous dating.  Many of us started out in poly by having LDRs and many of us have maintained long-term LDRs over the years.  This month's topic will deal with our experiences and questions about Long Distance polyamorous relationships.

Come join us at Victoria Poly 101 for our monthly discussion at Camas Bookshop, Corner of King and Quadra streets, Victoria, BC.

Date: August 23rd, 2012
6:30 pm to 9:30 pm
Participants are asked to bring a donation for use of the space at Camas.

June 28, 2012, Victoria Poly 101 monthly discussion

Boundaries, rules, guidelines and wishes -- poly parameters parsed! 


Do you want a closed relationship? One that's completely open -- but only on Thursdays and Saturday nights? Do you want the same number of partners your partner has, exclusive rights to the bed but not the bathtub, a pony, and all the cake you can eat? 


Do you have some mad poly negotiating skillz, tips, tricks, and rules that you've found really work well to help all of you feel loved, secure and well-fed?


Come talk about poly rule-making, breaking and awesome negotiating on June 28th! 


Please bring a small donation if you can in gratitude for the use of the space at Camas. :)


* A note to newcomers:  you are not expected to participate in discussions, but you are expected to listen respectfully with an open mind. Victoria Poly 101 discussions are not dating events. If you're interested in poly dating events, please check with Kiki, the moderator, who can put you in touch with some of the poly dating venues in Victoria.




Time:  6:30 pm to 9:30 pm
Cost:  Free!  (But please consider donating to Camas for use of the space)
Place: Camas Books: Corner of King and Quadra Streets, Victoria, BC

May 24 poly 101 discussion

Poly 101 discussion will take place at 6:30 pm on May 24, at The Ledge Lounge, above the Bedford Hotel on Government Street (across from Bay Centre).

Our topic is general this month; so feel free to bring questions and ideas about polyamory; newbies welcome!