Vancouver Island Polycamp 2011

Announcing: PolyCamp Too is now Polycamp Vancouver Island 2011, and if you're

planning on attending, we need your help this month!

We've got a new location and a longer camping experience planned. We're moving

camp to a new site: the group sites at Goldstream Provincial Park (Victoria,

BC). They offer many of the amenities of our former site, Living Forests, but

with more privacy, more space, and a forested, secluded setting. We'll also be

offering a full week (nine days) of poly camping: weekend camping with the great

workshops and kids' programs you've come to expect, and more laid-back mid-week

camping, with fire circle chats at night (weather willing!) The dates for camp

this year are July 29 to August 7.

Here's where YOU can help out:

In order to get such a great site, we had to pay a big deposit. A member of the

planning team has put the full base fee on her credit card, in the faith that

the lovely and generous poly community will step forward to help cover the cost

during the time her credit card bill's due and when we sell enough tickets to

cover the site cost.

We know most of you can't commit to camp this early in the year, so we're asking

for you to support us by buying Polycamp VI bonds. Here's how it works: You pay

$100 now per bond. You can buy as many as you want. When tickets go on sale,

each bond is worth $110 toward Polycamp VI tickets (see below for anticipated

ticket prices). If you don't use the whole $110, you'll get a refund at Polycamp

VI for the balance. If you end up not buying a ticket, you can just redeem your

bond after Polycamp VI for $110--or donate your bond to support next year's

Polycamp VI.

We need to sell 29 bonds by February 10 to make this work. If we don't, we'll

have to cancel the site reservation and reconsider site options. It would also

mean that bonds would be refunded--by February 28--at the original $100 price.

But that's not going to happen, because you all are going to support Polycamp

VI! Right?

To buy a bond, send $100 (Canadian funds, please!) via PayPal or Interac money

transfer to stellamom@.... You can also bring $100 in cash or personal

cheque to Eve at Vanpoly in January or February, or to Zoe at any poly event

listed here: www.vanisle-polyamory.com. Your bond is a personal loan to Eve

Rickert of Vancouver, BC. Polycamp Vancouver Island is not a formal

organization, so we don't have the capacity to officially channel funds as a

group.

If you have questions about how the bonds work, or about camp fees or the site,

send a message to me or post a comment here.

Anticipated ticket prices for Polycamp Vancouver Island 2011 (to be finalized):

Weekday drop-in (not staying overnight): Free

Weekend day drop-in: $20/adult; $5/child

One night (includes 2 days programming): $40/adult; $15/child

One weekend (up to 3 consecutive nights): $75/adult; $30/child

Full week or two weekends (four or more nights): $110/adult; $40/child

Thanks for your support. We're looking forward to seeing you this summer!

Many Thanks,

Kiki Christie, Director

Polycamp Vancouver Island team

Victoria Poly 101 monthly discussion: Time management and poly scheduling

Thursday, January 27 · 6:30pm - 9:30pm
University of Victoria, Room number Eliot 162

Time management may seem like an obvious skill needed for successful poly relationships, but, like most things poly, there are tricks, tips and emotions involved in figuring out who you spend time with, how much time you spend, and what everyone else thinks about the arrangement.

Is Google calendar the ultimate poly tool? Or do you prefer to develop your schedule more organically? Does your bed have a signup clipboard next to it? Do you and your partners flip a lot of coins?

Please bring a paper and a pen to this discussion (I have a feeling you might need it.. )! ;)

Guest post: The Other Side of the Coin

(Reposted from polyamory.com forum.)


Last night a new friend to our ever growing community asked if we could
get together to talk. She is very mono it seems but working at building
a relationship with her recently declared poly boyfriend. I agreed
without hesitation and then thought about the impact of any comments I
may have for her.

I spoke to my partner about my concerns and she pointed out that I should
get our friend to thnk and answer questions for herself as opposed to
actually injecting my opinions.

Anyone on here who knows me is aware that I am not a big fan of
mono/poly relationships. I am even a bigger non-fan of two people
starting thier relationship lives with this type of hurdle (and it is a
hurdle). But I do know they work. My biggest concern is always that each
partner has not got to experience a meaningful relationship with some
one who feels the same way about how love is shared and expressed.

She is young and as far as I know has never been in a long term
committed monogamous relationship. Immediately I have to swallow my snap
assessment and understand what I say to her could not only affect her
actions but also the heart and happiness of her boyfriend. I don't know
either person very well but still care about them as human beings and
have a responsibility not to sabotage anyone's natural relationship
progression.

So I thought I would put together some questions that I will ask her to
make her think and then hopefullly be a little more prepared and willing
to choose the best path as she sees it.

Does she truly feel monogamous?
Has she ever felt a romantic connection with more than one person? Can
she see a benefit to being open for the development and expansion of her
own relationships? Is she more traditionally conditioned mono;
influenced by the expectations of society and family? Is she internally
mono, wired to only have one romantic connection as I like to personally
put it.

What has she experienced?
Has she felt what it is liked to be someone's "one and only"? To have
some one give themselves to her willingly the same way she gives
herself? Not controlled but a willing gift of exclusivity as is the core
principle of true monogamy - a gift, not a shackle. This is important
because more than likely she will get the "grass is greener" feeling in
her relationship. I personally feel it is very important to experience
the grass on your own side of relationship nature before venturing into
another.

What are her relationship goals short term and long term?
Short term mono/poly is arguably much easier to enjoy than the
expectation of long term commitment depending on what the individual
wants
Is she a person with traditional relationship aspirations? Will she want
a standard wedding with traditional vows. If there is no long term
commitment ideals such as kids, house, marriage, and retirement planning
then I am much less reserved about exploring different relationship
types to in fact have "experiences".

How important is societal blending to her?
Is she prepared to stand her ground and push for at least acceptance of
how she loves with family, friends, co-workers and neighbors or will she
ok with keeping secrets about the reality of her life?

Who are her close friends and how will they react?
I lost most of my old friends but don't fault them. I am just too far
off their scale of comfort. I have made some very good friends though.
Is she willing to accept the potential loss of her regular crowd to be
replaced a crowd of people who largely have different views than she
does? I still struggle with this at times and have become almost like a
half-member of both, fading in and out of tangibility.

What will her parents think? For some of us, parental acceptance is not
that important in many ways. For others it would be crushing to be cut
off from our parents pride and endorsement of those we love. It's hard
to have a family bbq when your partner is not welcomed by your parents
or siblings because they "cheat" on you. I would be very concerned if my
daughter committed to a relationship with a polyamorous guy and I live
this life quite happily. Imagine if I didn't have a clue about poly? I'd
be waiting for the cheating bastard on the doorstep. You get my point.

What is her boyfriends idea of poly?
Is he looking to add a specific person or persons or is he wanting to be
open to all and any relationships that may present themselves?
Is she prepared to share him? To have him come to her bed after sharing
another woman's? Can she imagine them together and still embrace him
fully? He deserves her untainted love if she goes down this path. He
can't expect to have a partner who is holding back for the duration of
their relationship. If she can't face the reality of his other
relationships how can that be healthy for her or him long term? Is she
prepared for an ongoing cycle of his interest in others? Flirting,
discussing boundaries, the first night they have sex, the meeting of
people he is NREing over? Will she always be worried about every social
thing he attends for fear he is "hunting" or being hunted?

So I plan on meeting her and asking questions more than giving my own
perspective. She will probably ask why I am so happy with my
relationship and my short answer is always, my mono needs were met and
the planets basically had to align for me to be happy in this...truly
happy. Yes I have my worries and areas of concern but every night I go
to sleep and morning I wake up I am happy in knowing I love my partner
and we are family.

Those moments before sleep and just after waking are very telling times
for me. They are the gauge of my health and happiness.

Images from "What is Polyamory?" a panel discussion

I thought it was time to post a few pics from the highly successful and educational poly panel discussion that took place at UVic in November, 2010.

Cherish, Zoe and Quintus (speakers) and Cora (panel moderator)

Brad, Kiki and Captain (speakers)

Monday Magazine's article on the panel (Q & A)